


Past Comes Back

by Satosen



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-08-06
Updated: 2017-07-03
Packaged: 2018-04-13 08:30:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 16
Words: 16,100
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4515000
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Satosen/pseuds/Satosen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Arthur died more than a thousand years ago and now he's been reincarnated with the name of Bradley James of whom lives with Merlin (Colin Morgan) in a small two bedroom apartment. Bradley starts dreaming of his past in bits and pieces while his past friends start surfacing in his life again. <br/>WARNING BXB: Merlin x Arthur</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. I Love You

_**WARNING:** _   
_**Gay stuff goin' on, some foul language to an extent, maybe some mediocre gore later on** _

  
  
  “Arthur…” A tall young man with dark hair, stunningly blue eyes, and ears the poke out a bit to either side of his head, stares at a taller man with dirty blond hair and blue eyes wearing chainmail. The shorter man’s mouth opens and closes soundlessly as he tries to find words.  
  “Are you going to say something or just stand there gaping like a fish all day? Come on Merlin, we've got to regroup with the others.” Arthur smirks lightly at Merlin and goes to turn away again.  
  “W-wait! A-Arthur, th-there’s something I-I want to tell you first, a-and you can hit m-me as much a-as you l-like afterwards b-because y-you’ll p-probably th-think I-I’m being stupid again, or th-that I’m d-disgusting, o-or that I’m wasting your time, or…” Merlin stutters and rambles before Arthur interrupts him.  
  “Yes, you are wasting my time unless you get on with it already!” Arthur stares at Merlin making him swallow thickly.  
  “A-Arthur, I-I’m in love with you…”Merlin stares at his feet and rings his hands. “I-I’ve been in l-love with y-you for a-a wh-while now…” His words are met with only silence and he takes it as Arthur’s rejection of him. “I-I won’t blame you i-if you are angry w-with me or i-if you order m-me a-away…” Merlin’s stuttering is cut off as Arthur wraps his arm around Merlin’s waist and tilts his head up so that their lips meet. Merlin stiffens at first but relaxes and soon returns Arthur’s kiss. After a few minutes they finally part, both panting heatedly.  
  “Why the hell would I ever send you away from my side?” Arthur holds Merlin close and Merlin stares up into his eyes clinging to him lightly.  
  “I-I thought you’d be angry or disgusted when I-I told you.”  
  “The only reason I’d be angry is that you’ve taken this long to tell me!” Arthur pulls Merlin in closer to himself. “And how can I be disgusted with you… when I love you too.”  
   
  Morning light shines in through Bradley’s apartment window. He groans lightly and lifts his head just enough to see the clock. The digital numbers show 7:05 a.m. and he sighs as he rolls over in his bed almost falling out. Bradley slowly sits up and rubs his face before sliding out of his bed. The cold touch of the wood flooring on the bottoms of his feet send shivers up his spin.  
  His eyes wander around the room as he remembers his dream. The floor is a deep brown wood, the walls are a painted on tan, his dresser is white and the closet standing next to it matches with the same shiny coating of paint. Underneath of his small room’s window is his computer desk with papers strewn across it and over his keyboard. Old coffee cups lay around it as well and articles of trash can be seen. His dirty clothes are strewn about the place hanging from the half open closet door, off the side of his chair, on his door knob, and even all across the floor including peeking out from under his bed.  
  Bradley pops his back as he stretches out his stiff muscles and exits his room into the hallway of his apartment before slipping into the bathroom. The floor tiles are white-ish-cream and stand out against the off white walls. The counter and sink stand off to his left with his reflection staring back at him and just beyond them down the wall in front of him is the toilet. The shower stands small and just across from the toilet and to Bradley’s right is a rather nicely sized white bathtub up on four legs that look like an animal’s.  
  The feel of the chilled air on his almost completely bare skin makes him quickly strip the rest of the way and step into the shower before turning the water onto a nicely steamy hot temperature. Not even ten minutes after he turns on the water he hears a knock at the bathroom door.  
  “I’m sorry Bradley but it’s me Colin and I really need to hurry and brush my teeth before heading off to my classes, can I come in?” Bradley rolls his eyes.  
  “Just hurry up, and you’d better not try that flushing the toilet trick on me again you little prat.” Bradley turns his face into the water in hopes of chasing away the cold numbness left in his nose.  
  “I swear on my life I won’t do it this time.” Colin steps into the bathroom and up to the sink. “Thanks so much, and sorry again.” He starts brushing his teeth and Bradley glances at the blurred shape of his dark haired friend through the glass.  
  *“A-Arthur, I-I’m in love with you…”* the memory of his dream claws at him mind as he stares at Colin.  
  “Colin…” Bradley’s voice sounds a bit off and the shape moves in indication that Colin had turned to look at him.  
  “Yes?” His voice clearly shows that he still has the toothbrush in his mouth and Bradley chuckles and shakes his head.  
  “Never mind, it’s nothing.” Bradley turns back into the water.  
  “Alright, if you say so.” Colin easily shakes it off and finishes his prepping. “Oh and what time will you be back from work?”  
  “I don’t know, probably nine tonight. Why?” Bradley starts actually cleaning himself with soap now rather than just wasting water.  
  “Angel wants to stop by tonight and hang out with us like old times.” Colin turns towards the shower and leans on the counter lightly.  
  “Really? Alright, I’ll try to make sure I bring some snacks and stuff with me when I come home tonight.”  
  “Why don’t you just get a bottle of wine and some nice smelling candles instead?”  
  “What? Why?” Bradley lets the water wash all of the bubbles from his hair and skin.  
  “Because I won’t be here so the two of you can have some alone time.”  
  “I thought she wanted to hang out like old times.” Bradley turns off the water and pokes his head out of the shower door.  
  “You and I both know that she’s just looking for a good reason to see you again.” Colin smirks and hands Bradley a towel.  
  “Yeah, but that doesn’t mean you have to leave me alone with her. Besides, what on earth will I tell her about where you’ve run off to?” Bradley takes the towel and wraps it around his lower half before stepping fully out of the shower.  
  “Just tell her I went to the pub, or something.” Colin shrugs and Bradley rubs his face.  
  “You’ve never even been to a pub in your life!”  
  “So? You wanted something to tell her so I gave you an excuse. Take it or leave it.”  
  “Fine, fine, I’ll take it now off with you before you’re late to your class. Hurt’s lectures are always your favorite anyway.” Bradley shoohs Colin off and Colin laughs as he leaves Bradley to finish drying off.


	2. If He Comes Back

  Merlin sighs softly after he exits the bathroom. He lightly leans his back to the door as he holds back the pain in his heart of actually trying to get his Arthur together with Gwen. This is the first time since camelot that Merlin has seen Arthur again let alone gotten this close but the daft fool of course doesn't remember a thing.  
  "Just keep it together... This is his second chance with her, h-he could get an heir th-this time..." tears well up in Merlin's eyes and he wipes them away before grabbing his things and leaving the apartment.   
  Mr. John Hurt is a tall man with many wrinkles and his short hair standing up. He stands waiting next to the stairs into the community library. Merlin smiles lightly as he remembers this now small man, once being a great and powerful dragon.  
  "Did I keep you waiting long, Kilgharrah?" Merlin steps up to him quickly and Kilgharrah looks at Merlin over his spectacles.  
  "Not at all old friend. I was simply watching the pigeons deface that statue over there." Merlin looks to where Kilgharrah pointed and laughs softly. "I remember a time when I would have happily roasted those foul beasts, but alas, we all have our limitations when we come into our next lives." Merlin's smile falls and he starts to head towards the cafe across the street. Kilgharrah watches him for a minute before following slowly. Once they are seated Kilgharrah leans in lightly to stare at Merlin.  
  "I've seen this lost hope face many times before. What problem have you come to me for seeking the answers for this time?" Kilgharrah stares down at Merlin over his spectacles and watches the different emotions flit over his face. Sadness, fear, anger, and above all else, pain. After a few minutes of silence Merlin finally looks up at Kilgharrah.  
  "What will happen now that Arthur has returned?" Merlin stares into Kilgharrah's eyes scaredly and Kilgharrah sits back in his seat quietly as they are being served their drinks.  
  "You know very well that in this life I have near to none of the powers I had before..." Merlin's eyes turn angry and his tone darkens.  
  "Do not play games with me Kilgharrah, I know you have one of the crystals from the cave." Kilgharrah glares down at Merlin.  
  "And do not play at being the dragon tamer you once were to me, old friend." Merlin's glare intensifies and they stay glaring for several more minutes before Kilgharrah stubbornly gives in.  
  "It's not a matter of now that he's returned. It's a matter of if HE comes back." Kilgharrah's shoulders slump lightly and Merlin stares at him confusedly.  
  "What the bloody hell does that mean?" Merlin's hands are now gripping his drink tightly and Kilgharrah sighs.  
  "If Arthur regains his memories of the past then a new tragedy will befall our home..."  
  "And once he's no longer needed he'll dye again..." Merlin interrupts but Kilgharrah shakes his head almost sorrowfully.  
  "No Merlin..." Kilgharrah seals his lips and Merlin sits up more.  
  "You mean Arthur will live this time?!" Merlin is smiling widely but Kilgharrah looks sadly at him over the rim of his spectacles.  
  "Yes, but at great cost..." Kilgharrah's tone is foreboding and Merlin swallows.  
  "What cost?" The great dragon refuses to answer and averts his eyes. "Kilgharrah, I must know for the sake of Arthur's future, what cost must be paid?" Merlin is almost pleading and Kilgharrah slams his hand down on the table making Merlin jump and gaining the attention of some of the surrounding people. Once the people go back to their own things Kilgharrah lets out a long sigh.  
  "If Arthur returns... you will sacrifice your life for his. He will live to be an old age and have several children with the reincarnation of Gwen." Kilgharrah lowers his head sadly and Merlin remains silent for several minutes before letting out a choked laugh. Kilgharrah's head lifts slowly to see Merlin smiling widely.  
  "S-so I was right! This is Arthur's second chance to be with Gwen! Oh Kilgharrah this is great! He'll finally be happy!"  
  "...If it were so great of an opportunity then why are you crying, young warlock?" Kilgharrah's lips are a thin line and his eyes show sadness as he watches the tears flow down Merlin's cheeks. Merlin blinks and he feels his own face removing his fingers only to find then lightly coated in the salty water of his tears. He bites his lip softly and lowers his head to stare down into his cooling drink.  
  "I-I can't help it Kilgharrah... I still love that selfish prat..." The tears continue to fall and Kilgharrah sighs.  
  "God help me I know. If anyone in Camelot hadn't before his death they surely did after your return..."  
  "This isn't fair Kilgharrah! It's like everything is starting over! Arthur working at the cafe Camelot, Morgana being his step sister Uther is his boss, Gwen is his childhood friend, a-and the knights have yet to be found!" Merlin sets his forehead down on the table and curls into himself lightly. Kilgharrah quietly watches and extends his hand to gently pat Merlin's head.  
  "I know, but you must be strong for Arthur's sake Merlin. It is his destiny to be the once and future king as it is yours to be his faithful companion and protector..." Merlin slowly lifts his head and wipes his eyes before setting his jaw and straightening his shoulders.  
  "If Arthur returns and the time comes that I must protect Arthur with my life, then I will fulfill my destiny... a-and die for him..."


	3. Angel's Visit

  Bradley looks around and wipes off his hand looking for anything else in the place that he needs to clean up, or rather, hide from sight.

  "Why couldn't Colin have cleaned up this place and fixed us dinner or something before he decided to run off?" He grumbles to himself but sighs when he can just hear Colin telling him how sad it was that a 27 year old male didn't know the first thing about cooking or cleaning for himself. "It's not like I don't know how, it's just that it's supposed to be his job to clean up since I work..." He trails off and thinks about his dream for the hundredth time since morning. "Colin would never look at me that way, it was just a stupid dream." His heart clenches lightly and anger starts to boil inside of him at his own words as if he had just watched someone attack Angel. "Why... Why does my head have to be filled with that stupid dream?" His cell vibrates bringing him out of his thoughts to check his messages. Angel had just messaged him that she was thirty minutes from the apartment. He quickly replies and sets about taking out the already made food he'd stored away in the oven to keep warm. "Hope she likes store bought chicken." He says softly and sets the table.  
  Thirty minutes later a buzz comes from his apartment door and he opens it smiling to see a short dark skinned woman with black hair and brown eyes. Her hair puffs out lightly in many little curls and the corners of her lips rise in delight. "Bradley, it's so good to see you!" He stands up on her tippy-toes to hug him around the neck and he laughs wrapping his arms around her.  
  "You too, how have you been?" He invites her in and hands up the jacket and scarf she'd been wearing on the nearby coat rack.  
  "I've been doing great, my boss just gave me a raise and my studies have been going great! In no time I'll be building skyscrapers and all sorts of things!"  
  "That's great! I can't wait to see your works of art someday." They walk into the living room and Angel sits down on the couch while Bradley sits in his egg chair.  
  "So how have you and Colin been doing?"  
  "The little prick is still working hard on his studies while leaving me to slave away at work and he doesn't even bring anything back to show for his studies." Bradley pouts but his face soon evens out and then turns almost solemn as he starts to think more about Colin and what he would think if he knew about Bradley's dream. Images of an enraged or horrified Colin slip through his mind and his head sinks down lightly with his crosses his fingers together.  
  "Bradley, what happened between you and Colin? You have that face like you've done something terrible." Angel's voice slides through his mist of thoughts and he looks up at her before lowering his eyes to the ground. After a few minutes Bradley's brows furrow in confusion and he looks up at her again but this time as though he were looking through her.  
  "What did you call me?" He asked more to himself than anything and Angel tilts her head softly in confusion.  
  "I called you your name Bradley." Bradley shakes his head and stares at her more intensely.  
  "No, when we first met you acted as though I were a ghost and said someone's name. What was that name?" Angel pauses and stares at him quietly before hesitantly answering.  
  "I called you Arthur..." Bradley pailed and then scrunched his brows again as he lapsed back into thoughts. "Bradley what is this, what's wrong?" she stands to go comfort him and then stops when he speaks again.  
  "It's the same as in my dream..." Angel swallows and then sits again.  
  "What dream Bradley?" He glances up at her and then stares down at his hands, fiddling with them lightly.  
  "I had a dream last night where Colin was calling me Arthur and..." Bradley trails off and fiddles more with his hands.  
  "And what Bradley? Come on, tell me."  
  "A-and we kind of said that we loved each other and ended up making out in me dream." Bradley felt like he wanted to find the smallest, darkest box to curl up in and disappear. He hears Angel's intake of breath and continues of franticly. "But it was just a silly dream it's not like Colin would ever look at me in that kind of way..." He trails off as he looks up at Angel only to see her covering her mouth and tears brimming in her eyes. "Angel..." He's lost for words and Angel closes her eyes as she removes her and and takes a deep breath.  
  "Don't you dare ever say that Merlin couldn't love you... He loved you the most out of everyone, even more than I..." She looks into Bradley's eyes and he leans back in surprise.  
  "How did you know what I called him in my dream?"He stares at her expectantly and she lets out a soft sigh.  
  "Because your dream was a memory of your past life, Arthur..." She stares sadly at him. "In the past you were a great king, the best Camelot had ever known. However, the darkness of Morgana's heart festered and made your step sister long for your death. Merlin stayed by your side through all of it and tried the hardest to make you survive, but in the end he had to watch as you died in his arms..." Tears are dripping down her face. "We were married in our past life but your heart only ever belong to Merlin. Your eyes would follow his movements, your side was always filled with his presence, and your mind was captivated by his face... As your wife I should have hated you both and sought his demise, but I could never bring myself to do anything but support the both of you."  
  Bradley stares at her in utter shock and leans back in thought. The room remains silent for a while before the vibrations of Bradley's cell rouses his from his writhing thoughts. Colin had just texted him asking if he'd gotten anywhere with Gwen yet. Bradley's chest clenched again and he glares down at the phone. Angel watches quietly before clearing her throat.  
  "Is that a text from Colin? Tell him to come back already, I know he's never been to a pub in this life." She smiles trying to brighten up the spirits in the room but it has the opposite effect as Bradley glares at the phone more. Suddenly a thought crashes through Bradley's brain like a bull in a china shop.  
  "Do you think that Colin remembers his past life as well?" His eyes search Angel's fearfully and she hesitates before shaking her head no.  
  "I don't think so Bradley." Angel innerly beats herself at the lie as she watches Bradley relax in relief.  
  "You're right, he wouldn't be acting like this if he did remember." He responds back to Colin saying that they hadn't even had dinner yet and Colin responded by throwing a boot at him in text form and telling him to get to it. "I guess it really is time for dinner, you must be starved." He stands and so does Angel.  
  "Yes, thank you."


	4. Don't Tell Arthur

Merlin walks up the stairs to Arthur and his apartment mentally fuming at how much of a blockhead Arthur still was. He'd given Arthur three full hours to get somewhere with Gwen only for Arthur to text him saying she really wanted to see him and that his lie was bullock. Merlin steps through the apartment door still in a fowl mood only to have  Gwen fling herself at him and nearly take him down with a hug.  
  "I tried telling her to calm down but she just wouldn't listen." Arthur defended himself as he retreated back to his egg chair. Merlin simply rolled his eyes and tried to keep from falling over.  
  "Oh, I've missed you so much Colin!"  
  "Y-yeah, I've missed you too Angel." Merlin replies as she removes herself from him and he regains his balance. She stares at him for few seconds, her face full of contemplation before she smiles.  
  "We haven't had dinner yet so wash up before you come and eat, okay Merlin." Merlin freezes and his faked smile slips from his lips before he recovers.  
  "I'm sorry but what did you call me?" Gwen stares at him and merlin can see Arthur's head peeking around his chair.  
  "I called you Merlin, because that's your name." She continues to stare at Merlin and he hesitates again before bringing a wide crooked grin to his lips.  
  "You must be joking, my name is Colin just as it has been since you met me. You just called my name a minute ago even."  
  "Yes, I called you Merlin." She says matter-o'-factly. Merlin's smile twitches and it falls this time becoming a slightly concerned look.  
  "Did something happen? You've never even given me a nickname, let alone called me someone else's." Arthur and Gwen stare at him and then Gwen stomps her foot.  
  "Why won't you remember damn it?! You used to be a powerful wizard that was dating the king of Camelot for goodness sake! You were the most powerful wizard of all time!" Gwen shots at Merlin and he steps back defensively.  
  "Angel, what's gotten into you? I don't have a clue what you're talking about." He stares down at her as tears well up in Angel's eyes and Arthur gets up and walks over to her.  
  "Angel, that's enough. He's not going to remember if he doesn't remember his own name." Arthur slides an arm around Gwen's shoulders and Merlin feels a twinge of pain in his chest that only worsens when Gwen speaks up again.  
  "How could you forget... How could you? The two of you were inseparable in your past life, how could you forget that?" She stares into Merlin's eyes and he flinches.  
  "I don't know what the bloody hell you two have been drinking or smoking or whatevering but I'm done with this. My name is Collin, and I won't listen to a couple of lunatics accusing me of forgetting something that never happened." Merlin turns and yanks open the door before stepping back out into the hallway. He gets to the second stairway platform when Gwen catches up with him.  
  "Merlin, don't walk away from this!" She grabs onto his sleeve and holds tight making him come to a complete stop. "You have to remember! You have to!" Merlin slaps her hand away the pain in his chest becoming unbearable.  
  "I do remember!" He shouts at her angrily, tears welling up in his own eyes. "I remember watching the fear in Arthur's eyes as I told him the truth about me! I remember listening to him asking me why I was even around him, why I continued on like I always had even though I was one of the very people he despised the most! I remember watching him die in my arms because I was to weak to do anything!" The tears overflow and drip down his cheeks. "I remember how much I'd wished that the two of you could have just stayed together so that he could grow old and happy with you..." Merlin closes his eyes and sucks in a breath before opening them again and staring into Gwen's. "This is your second chance, Gwen. This time the two of you can be together, can be happy together, can grow old and have many children..." Gwen stares speechlessly at Merlin for a few minutes before the gears finally click all together.  
  "Y-you remember!" Merlin glares as she almost completely forgets what he said and starts to get excited on her own. "We have to tell Arthur! He's starting to remember so this will be even easier with the both of us there to remind him and you two can get back together!" She turns to run back up the stairs only for Merlin to catch her by the wrist.  
  "No." His voice is rough and hard making Gwen turn back around to stare at him. Merlin's face is a solim mask as his eyes flit with many emotions, but the foremost being fear.  
  "What's wrong Merlin? Why are you so scared?" Merlin takes a deep breath and releases her wrist.  
  "If I fulfil my role as his guardian and protect him to the end, then the two of you will live happy lives together... You'll grow old, make new memories together, and have many children and then many more grandchildren..." Merlin's voice is soft and his head is turned so that his gaze is carried far off into some distance. Gwen clutches her hands together and she stares at Merlin scaredly.  
  "Why do I get the feeling that something is going to happen to you?" She searches Merlin's face as he turns it back to face her again.  
  "Just play it safe and all will work out." He places his hands on her shoulders and stares into her eyes. "Go back up to him, he's probably worried." He turns her around and pushes her back up a few steps before she starts walking up on her own. "Oh, and remember not to tell Arthur, alright?" Gwen glances back and nods before taking a breath and walking up the steps.  
  "Don't tell Arthur..." She repeats.


	5. It Hurts

 "I do remember!" Bradley stops in his tracks standing at the door into the stairwell as he hear's Colin's voice. "I remember listening to him asking me why I was even around him, why I continued on like I always had even though I was one of the very people he despised the most! I remember watching him die in my arms because I was to weak to do anything!" Colin sounds like he's on the brink of tears and Bradley takes a step back. Pain starts to slice through his chest and skull and flashes of memory rip through his mind overwhelming him. "I remember how much I'd wished that the two of you could have just stayed together so that he could grow old and happy with you..." A sharp pull to his heart brings Bradley to his knees in pain. "This is your second chance, Gwen. This time the two of you can be together, can be happy together, can grow old and have many children..." Bradley finally manages to pull himself together past the pain. He begins to back away unable to handle listening to Colin's voice as images of his face float through his mind.   
  Suddenly, Angel's gasp to the left of him brings him back to reality. She's two stairs down from the platform and staring at him. Colin runs up to find out what's wrong and freezes with his eyes meeting Bradley's. Image after image after image of Colin's face from their past life spring to life over Colin's present profile. Bradley's buckle underneath of him again and he clutches his head making both Colin and Angel rush to his side.  
  "Bradley, what's wrong?" Colin asks fearfully as his hand holds Bradley's shoulder. Bradley glares up at him and in Colin's eyes it's almost as if there are two of him. One of Bradley and one of Arthur.  
  "You lied to me, Merlin..." Arthur stares in Colin's eyes coldly and Colin flinches away.  
  "I-I thought it was for the best..." Colin tries to retract his hand from Bradley's shoulder only for Arthur to grab him roughly by the wrist.  
  "You thought it was best for me to live my life out with a woman I can never truly love?" Arthur growls and Colin flinches.  
  "Y-yes..." Colin looks away only for Arthur to grab his chin with his free hand.  
  "Do you enjoy keeping secrets from me?" Arthur's eyes are full of rage.  
  "N-no! I-I've never enjoyed it!" tears are brimming in Colin's eyes and Bradley starts to resurface slowly as his grips loosen.  
  "Then why do you do it?" he whispers softly and the pain is visible on Colin's face.  
  "Because if I don't then something bad will happen..." a lump forms in Colin's throat and he trails off.  
  "What? What will happen, Merlin?" Colin bites his lip softly. Arthur returns as he growls and shakes Colin roughly by the shoulders. "Tell me Merlin!" Colin closes his eyes tightly.  
   "I-I can't!" tears are now slipping down Colin's cheeks. "I-I'll lose you if I do..." once again Bradley's grip slackens and he stares at Colin's sorrowful face.  
  "You have lost me..." Bradley whispers softly and Colin's head whips up to stare into his eyes.  
  "Wh-what?" Bradley releases Colin entirely.  
  "Arthur Pendragon died over a hundred years ago because of your secrets. So if it's your will to keep secrets again then I'll walk away." Colin swallows as he stares at Bradley in disbelief. Angel hesitantly buts in.  
  "Why the sudden change of heart?" Bradley pauses as he stares into Colin's eyes.  
  "I'm not the person he loves." Bradley says bluntly and Colin watches him confusedly as he stands. "The one he loves is nothing more than a phantom that haunts his dreams."  
   "That's not.."  
  "Yes it is and you know it." Bradley cuts Colin off and turns to walk back to their apartment. "I am Bradley James so stop staring through me to your past." He briskly walks away leaving Colin to sit on the cold concrete floor with tears dripping down his cheeks. Angel carefully slides her hand onto Colin's shoulder.  
  "I-I'm sure he doesn't mean it." Angel tries to console Colin but he shakes his head no.  
  "He definitely meant it..." He starts whipping his tears away roughly as he stands. "The worse part is I can't even say that he's got it wrong." Angel stands as well and grips the fabric of his sleeve.  
  "You can't mean that Merlin!" tears are brimming in her own eyes as Colin gives her a broken smile.  
  "I told you this was your second chance." He gently removes her hand and begins to walk down the stairs.  
  "Merlin! Merlin please come back! I'm sure the two of you can work it out some how!" Angel calls from the platform as Colin walks out the first floor stairwell exit. His entire body feels like it's covered in a haze as his legs move him one step at a time away from Bradley. Until he finds himself at Mr. Hurt’s front door. Colin hesitates before knocking on his professor's door. A few minutes later Mr. Hurt opens it and stares in surprise at Colin.  
  "What could possibly bring you to my door at this hour my old friend?" Merlin looks up at him dully with swollen eyes.  
  "It hurts Kilgharrah..." His eyes roll back as his body relaxes completely and he collapses to the ground.  
  "Merlin!""


	6. The You I've Missed

  "Arthur!" Merlin screams out as he runs down a narrow stone hallway that he can only see in his dreams now. The fire of the torches cast ghostly shadows upon the floor and walls that seem to dance in the light. He is desperately running along this often seen path looking for the door that will lead him back to his Arthur. Light escapes from the crack between two large doors up ahead and Merlin raises up to them before pausing. The light creeping out towards him beacons him to open the doors but a large void he can feel in the back of his mind is pulling him away.  
  Finally he gains the strength to open one of the doors but as soon as he does the light extinguishes itself and leaves him in an cold and empty throne room. Two chairs stand side by side across the room. Both are adorned with fine gold and beautiful red cloth that has become aged by decades of time. Merlin hesitantly walks towards the seats taking one heavy step at a time until he stands directly before him.  
  The sounds of a crowd erupted into joyous claps and sobs sound behind him making him whip around instinctively. Many people stand in two groups separated only by an aisle from the doors. Sunshine bright enough to blind you and warm enough to burn you shines through the not to long ago dusty windows. The banesters fly high once more in the room showing of the great pride the people hold for their kingdom.  
  The people suddenly quiet and the sunlight begins to feel cold and dull. All before him now stand like desolate statues left in time to be forgotten. One single person steps out of the crowed and Merlin takes in a freezing breath as he stares into the eyes of himself. The other Merlin smiles cruelly and starts to clap as he stares behind the real one. Merlin turns slowly only to see Arthur and Gwen sitting upon their thrones. Merlin lets out his held breath and takes a step forward, his only focus being his Arthur. The Gwen's arm slowly hooks with Arthur's drawing Merlin's attention away.  
  "You gave him up didn't you?" Gwen's voice echoes coldly making the room chill even more.  
  "You couldn't even save the man you loved and now you're panning after my second chance?" Angel now stands a few steps away from Merlin her arm wrapped around Bradley's.  
  "N-no, I was just.." Merlin tries to say something only to be cut off.  
  "Just what, Colin? Just trying to protect him?" Merlin winces and opens his mouth again only for her to continue speaking. "How can protect him? You have near to no power, and what power you do have you are using to deceive the world into believing that you are someone you're not. Face the facts, Colin, Camelot fell a long time ago and no matter how much you wish you could turn back time , you just can't. The minute you told Arthur a lie you were destined to be nothing more than a plague to him. The rusty side of his coin."  
  "I-I only lied to protect him!"  
  "You lied to protect yourself! What love can flourish while one is afraid of the other?"  
  "I was afraid alright!" Merlin screams at her as he feels something growing painfully in his chest. "I was afraid of so many things... I was afraid of Uther, I was afraid of Mordred, I was afraid of Morgana, and I was afraid of you..."  
  "What could I possibly have done to cause your fear?"  
  "You were his wife! You shared true love's kiss to breath a curse on his heart and he repeated his wedding vows to break one on your own. How could I not be afraid when your love seemed so much more pure than he and I's?" tears are dripping down Merlin's cheeks as he finally tells that truth. Gwen's image dissipates leaving only Arthur and Merlin in the cold room alone.  
  "Is it really so hard to tell me the truth? To tell me you remember, to tell me you'll die, to tell me you have magic?" Arthur's voice is soft as he speaks and Merlin breaks further.  
  "I was the one that told you that magic had no place in Camelot so what place would there be for me if I had told you? I remember how you couldn't even look me in the eye after I told you the honest truth and shoved it into your face so that you would believe me. I remember how every moment that I was near to you, you would only stare wearily at me as though I was some stranger you had never met before... It was everything I'd feared would happen..."  
  "But I accepted you in the end didn't I?"  
  "You were dying!" Merlin cries out. "If you hadn't been on death's doorstep you would have watched me burn at the stake in the courtyard from your farway window!"  Merlin is now kneeling alone in the room clinging to himself lightly. "You don't know how much I wish I could go back. Back to when I was saving your selfish arse every other day without you even knowing. Back to when I could wake up in the mornings and feel your warmth beside me... Back to when the words 'I love you' would still slide from your lips like fine silk... That is the you that I will forever miss..." tears continue to slip down Merlin's cheeks as he wishes upon times long since past.


	7. Where Is He

  "Why...?" Merlin's voice brings Arthur's attention to him. Merlin is still laying on his side facing away from him while Arthur is on the edge pulling on some pants.  
  "Why what?" Arthur responds hesitantly as he stares at the younger male's pale back.  
  "Why are you choosing me over Gwen?" Merlin's voice is soft and uncertain. Arthur abandons the laces of his pants and leaves them mostly open and he crawls back across the bed to his lover's form.  
  "Because the one I love is you, Merlin." Arthur kisses Merlin's shoulder softly as he gently caressed his arm.  
  "But why? Why do u love me?" Merlin moves away from his caress and turns to look up into Arthur's eyes earnestly. Arthur pauses as he stares into those depthless eyes then sighs.  
  "I love you for many reasons, one of which being that you treat my just like anybody else and not some pedestal sitting king. Another is that you give me the feeling that you will guard my back." Merlin looks at him quizzically and he sighs. "I know I see you falling, running, or gaining unwanted attention all of the time, but through all of this you've been by my side. You've shown me what is the right path that I should take on so many occasions." Merlin seems to flinch and look away. He opens his mouth to say something but nothing comes out and he closes his mouth again looking truly distraught. "What is it, Merlin? You look like you want to say something." Merlin closes his eyes and shakes his head.  
  "It's nothing..." He begins to get up. "We'd better get up. Gwen is probably waiting to have breakfast with you." Merlin's toes touch the cold stone floor just as Arthur wraps his arms around Merlin's shoulders.  
  "That's not what you were going to say." Merlin pauses before sighing.  
  "Come on dollop-head, you have kingly stuff to do..."Merlin slides out of Arthur's grasp and stands. Arthur sighs as well.  
  "You can tell me anything you know? Nothing you say will make me ever leave you."

  "Bradley? Bradley wake up. If you keep sleeping in your chair you'll get a crick in your neck." Angel's voice breaks through his remembering and he slowly opens his eyes. Angel looks like she's been crying again and her voice sounds hoarse.  
  "Looks like I'm not the only one that needs a decent night's sleep." He says softly. His own voice sounds unfamiliar to him and he sighs before beginning to stretch. Angel looks sadly at Bradley.  
  "Colin still hasn't come back..." She whispers and Bradley flinches looking away.  
  "I'm sure he's fine and just crashing at a friend's house." He stands up and Angel glares at him.  
  "Name one friend that He has other than us." she orders pissedly and Bradley hesitates before perking up.  
  "Mr. Hurt, his coarse teacher." some of the light returns to Angel's eyes and she perks up.  
  "Then lets just go and make sure that he's okay?" Bradley glares at her for the proposition.  
  "I'm not going to go crawling back to him just after I left him." Bradley growls and Angel steps back looking hurt. He hesitates as he sees tears forming in her eyes before finally giving in.  
  "Fine, but I need a shower before I go anywhere." Angel perks up again and starts bouncing happily.  
  "Alright!" he rolls his eyes to her and then walks away to his room to retrieve some clothes only to stop upon seeing his bed. His mind wanders back to his memory dream and gives a sad sigh before grabbing his clothes and walking to his bathroom.  
  Bradley's own reflection catches his eye as he'd started to change and he turns his head to look. His own eyes are bloodshot and puffy. His hair is a duller colored mess than usual, and most of all he just looks dead. Seeing himself brings images of Merlin from their fight to his mind and he tries to shake them out of his head as he jumps into the shower and turns on the hot water.  
  Looking back through the foggy glass of the shower he begins recalling when he first started to remember. Pain seizes his chest as he thinks about how innocent Colin had played at being back then. Bradley rest his forehead against the glass and lets the water wash over his back as he tries to drag his mind out of the pit he had dug just for himself the minute he said that he was leaving Colin. Bradley furiously scolds himself as he finishes his shower quickly and gets dressed to go out. Angel is sitting on the couch looking like she'd washed her face and put on some beauty makeup to hide most of her pryor woes.  
  "You ready?" He asks her softly and Angel nods as she stands.  
  "As ready as I'm going to be."

 

  "I'm sorry sir, but the student you are referring to graduated many many years ago." The elderly lady at the front desk is staring at Bradley apologetically.  
  "What? How many years ago?" Bradley responds incredulously and the woman looks over the file.  
  "About thirty years ago." She states matter-o-factly. Bradley's face pales and his eyes grow wide.  
  "thirty years?..." Bradley manages out and the woman nods.   
  "Then is there a teacher or lecturer or whatever by the name of John Hurt?" Angel asks and the woman smiles gently.  
  "Oh I remember that name." Angel perks up enthusiasticly.  
  "You do?"  
  "Yes, he was such a kind man. Now that I think of it that student you mentioned was always hanging around him.  They would always be found during lunch talking about all sorts of things. It was like watching two men that had been friends since they were children!" the woman chuckles and shakes her head.  
  "What about now?" Angel asks determinedly bringing the woman from her memories.  
  "He's been retired for nearly twenty years now I'm sorry to say." Both Angel's and Bradley's spirits sink upon hearing this.  
  "Thank you for your help ma'am..." Bradley manages to say around the lump in his throat and he turns to leave with Angel. "Where could he possibly be?..." he whispers softly.


	8. Who Are You

  Merlin's shoes make little to no noise as he walks slowly through the halls of the former Camelot castle halls. The halls are so familiar that he doesn't even have to think about where he's going to come upon Gaius's room. Merlin hesitates before opening the door slowly. The short elderly man with shoulder length white hair is hovering over a boiling concoction of his own creation.  
  "Gaius..." Merlin's voice is barely a whisper as he sees the man he had thought of as a second father to him. Gaius's head raises before he looks at Merlin.  
  "Yes? Are you here on some business, boy?" His eyes show absolutely no recognition of Merlin.  
  "I-I..." Merlin's voice cracks and refuses to come out as the pain in his chest overwhelms him for a moment.  
  "Gaius, do you have lady Morgana's sleeping draught ready?" Gwen almost walks into Merlin who is just inside of the door. "Oh I'm so sorry!" She looks him over and gives him a small smile. "And you might you be?" Merlin swallows thickly and then gives her a sad smile.  
  "Nobody." He states softly and she tilts her head.  
  "Nobody who?"  
  "Just nobody, thank you..." with ever word he says his chest starts to hurt worse. Gwen chuckles softly at him.  
  "Well it's nice to meet you Mr. Nobody."  
  "Here you are, Gwen." Gaius hands Gwen a bottle to be given to Morgana later. "And tell her that she should come by at some point so that I may to another check up on her."  
  "Thank you Gaius." Gwen nods to Merlin as she leaves and he nods back to her.  
  "Now I'll ask you again, Mr. Nobody, why are you here?" Gaius has turned back to Merlin. A lump forms in his throat preventing him from responding immediately.  
  "I-I..." he takes a deep breath and puts up another smile. "I-I've heard many great things about the healer they called Gaius. I just wanted to meet the great man they spoke of in their tales..." Gaius stares at him quizzically before shaking his head and chuckling.  
  "I'm afraid you must have heard some long tales lad. I'm nothing more than an old man of whom makes medicine for the King."  
  "Oh, I wouldn't say that Gaius! Who knows what would happen to the lot of us if you weren't here." A tall man with shoulder length black hair and bit of bristle on his chin. A  man with short black hair follows him standing just a bit shorter follows behind the first one.  
 "Probably in some pub drinking your money away." Gaius replies hotly and the man chuckles.  
  "Gwaine...Lancelot..." Merlin whispers as he stares at the two. Lancelot looks Merlin over while Gawain smiles widely.  
  "Who's your guest Gaius? He seems to be a fan of the knights of Camelot." He stares at Merlin perkily.  
  "Well as Fwen put it, his name is Mr. Nobody." Gaius chuckles lightly.  
  "Ahh don't go calling the poor lad names now Gaius." Gwaine steps up to Merlin and wraps his arm around Merlin's shoulders. "So what's your name?" Merlin's lump returns and he tries his hardest to keep his smile plastered to his face.  
  "Would you stop pestering the poor kid already Gwaine? He's scared stiff by our very presence." Lancelot pipes up and Merlin shakes his head no very vigorously.  
  "I-it's just that my name is not worth to be heard by such great knights of Camelot." Merlin tries to play up to the both of their egos. It works and they both smile. Gwaine pats Merlin on the back heartily.  
  "You're just buttering us up now!" Gwaine laughs happily and Merlin chuckles as he starts slinking to the door.  
  "Y-you caught me, but now I really must be going." the pain in Merlin's chest is getting to me to much.  
  "Aww, already? But we just got here." Gwaine whines and Lancelot rolls his eyes before smiling at Merlin.  
  "It was a pleasure meeting you, Mr. Nobody." Merlin nods.  
  "A-and you as well." he quickly darts away before the pain can get any worse. Not even a foot away from Gaius's door he bumps into someone and falls to the ground. "I-I'm so sorry..." Merlin exclaims as he looks up only to find Arthur staring down at him.  
  "Are you alright? he holds out his hand for Merlin to take. Merlin takes it gratefully and stands up.  
  "I-I am truly sorry, m-my lord." Merlin stutters and Arthur chuckles before pausing.  
  "Have I met you somewhere before?" Arthur is staring at Merlin's face as it starts to look hopeful.  
  "Wh-why do you ask?" he tries to be in conspicuous and Arthur continues to stare his eyes locking with Merlin's.  
  "It's your eyes... They remind me of someone..." Arthur releases his grip on Merlin and shakes his head. "Alssa, I have no name for the person. Well, I'd better be off, try not to knock into anyone else on your way." Arthur pats Merlin's shoulder as he walks past him and then enters Gaius's room. Tears are now welling in Merlin's eyes and he quickly moves to get away from that place. His legs drag him down to the the cavern that lays below the castle. The stone steps lead him to a ledge and an open cave that is huge enough for a dragon to fly around in.  
  "Who has dared to enter my hole in the ground?" A loud voice bellows through the cavern and shakes the ground under foot.  
  "Kilgharrah..." Merlin whispers and the gigantic dragon flies into sight before landing on a mass of rock in front of the ledge.  
  "That is my name, now who are you?" Kilgharrah growls and Merlin's tears overflow from his eyes.  
  "I-it's me! Please don't say that you have forgotten me as well my old friend!" Merlin shouts heartbrokenly and the dragon chuckles.  
  "And who are you? By what name do you call yourself? Merlin? Paul? Nathan? Frank? Sean? Victor? Jimmy? John? Jethro? or even Colin?" Kilgharrah lists many of the names Merlin has gone by over the years and Merlin freezes.  
  "I-I...I-I'm..." Merlin stares up at Kilgharrah with fear in the deep depths of his eyes. "I-I don't know..."


	9. Always Love You

  "We have to make it to the lake." Merlin is breathless and is desperately trying to keep Arthur walking as they make it into a clearing.  
  "Merlin...Not without the horses." Arthur rasps as they collapse down so that Arthur is being mostly on top of Merlin but facing the sky and keeping him from getting back up effectively. "It's to late..." Merlin continues to struggle to get them up again. "It's to late." Arthur repeats more forcefully. "All your magic, Merlin, and you can't save my life."  
  "I can. I'm not going to lose you." Merlin states determinedly.  
  "Just--Just--Just hold me... Please." Merlin stops struggling but remains somewhat propped up behind Arthur. "There's... There's so... There's something I want to say..."  
  "You're not... You're not going to say goodbye." Merlin pants out in denial.  
  "No." Arthur says almost instantly and looks Merlin in the eye as Merlin manages to squirm so that he can see over Arthur's shoulder. "Merlin." Merlin's eyes show fear as they look back into Arthur's eyes and he struggles to form his words. "Everything you've done... I know now... For me, for Camelot... For the kingdom you helped me build." Merlin cuts him off and shakes his head quickly.  
  "You'd have done it without me."  
  "Maybe." Arthur chuckles in response before pausing. "I want to say something I've never... said to you before... Th--Thank you." Merlin is shaken and Arthur stares up at him with a smirk before weakly putting his hand onto the back of Merlin's head. A few moments go by of they staring in a silence before Arthur's hand drops and his eyes roll back.  
  "Arthur. Hey." Merlin whispers hoarsely and moves his arm to the side of Arthur's face to shake him. "No. Arthur.... Arthur!" Arthur's eyes roll back and relief fills Merlin's face. "Stay with me." Arthur's eyes roll again. "Arthur. No." Merlin's pleading fades as Arthur's consciousness does.

  Bradley jerks awake breathing heavily and looking round his room desperately for Merlin only to be greeted by the chill of the air and someone knocking at his door. He takes a minute to regain his breath and calm his heart before slowly pulling on a pair of Jeans that he had discarded to the floor before collapsing into his bed. The person at the door continues to knock and Bradley groans softly before leaving his room. Angel had gone back home earlier as he had told her to do so he was free to shout to the door.  
  "I'm coming already. Just give me a bloody moment!" he looks through the peep hole only to see Mr. John Hurt standing there waiting impatiently. Bradley quickly opens the door and stares at him still slightly dumbfounded. Mr. Hurt looks him up and down before grunting.  
  "As much as it disgruntles me to say it, I understand to some point why he is so infatuated with you."  
  "He? He who? Are you talking about Colin? Please tell me where he is if you've seen him!" Bradley stares at him pleadingly and Mr. Hurt huffs.  
  "First you must tell me how much you remember."  
  "How much I remember?..."  
  "Yes, how much do you remember from your past life Arthur Pendragon?"  
  "I-I..." Arthur stares at the man in front of him completely dumfounded for a few minutes. "Wh-who are you, O-or where you?"  
  "I was the great dragon of whom your family had imprisoned beneath your wretched castle for many years. My name was Kilgharrah."  
  "B-but you were slain weren't you?" Arthur cuts in quizzically and Kilgharrah snorts.  
  "Merlin's dragon tamer blood awakened after the death of his father. He used my strength and mind for him own on many occasions up until my death."  
  "W-wait, his father died and he was a dragon tamer?" Arthur asked incredulously.  
  "Yes you daft fool. In fact you were there for his death. As the closest person to Merlin, aside from Gaius, how could you not have figured it out?"  
  "I-I..." Bradley swallows.  
  "Oh, enough of this. As I asked before, how much do you remember?" Kilgharrah stands waiting for an answer that Bradley hesitates to give.  
  "Many things, but not all..." Bradley stares at him warily "now tell me where I can find Colin." Arthur is beginning to surface and Kilgharrah can see it.  
  "I can do better. I can take you to him." Arthur perks up in hope and excitement but Kilgharrah says more. "But. On the condition that you will sit with me and learn of what you have forgotten."at this Bradley resurfaces and hesitates.  
  "I will be able to see Merlin... Correct?"  
  "Yes." Kilgharrah nods his head and Bradley concedes.  
  "Let me put my shirt and shoes on before we go..." He walks away from the door and allows Kilgharrah to enter before walking to his room to put on said items. When he re-enters the living room, Kilgharrah is standing in wait.  
  "I will warn you, however, that if you remember all that you have lost, it could most probably lead to a great tragedy befalling the land and your permanent loss of the young warlock."  
  "Lose Merlin forever?" Bradley hesitates further. Kilgharrah nods.  
  "I have looked into a crystal from a cave that has long since been buried and saw your future. If the former Arthur Pendragon shall fully return than a great tragedy shall befall the land once more. In the end Merlin will put your life above his own and allow himself to die for you." Arthur backs away in horror.  
  "Wh-what? Why?"  
  "Because, he will always love you." Kilgharrah stares into the petrified eyes of both Arthur Pendragon, and Bradley James at the same time...


	10. Memories

Uther walks slowly towards the unconscious form of his son on the floor. His eyes narrowed and his skin giving off a blue tinge from his ghostly form.  
  "Get away from him, Uther." Merlin stands in the opposite corner of the room from Uther and stares at him. Uther's eyes raise away from Arthur to listen. "You've cause enough harm." Merlin steps towards Uther and Arthur. "You don't belong here." Merlin's voice is a bit quieter now and Uther continues to listen. "You must return to the other world."  
  "This is my kingdom." Uther responds in a whisper. "You think you can drive me from it?" Uther turns to face Merlin as he speaks. "You are nothing but a serving boy." He extends his 's'.  
  "I am much more than that." Merlin's teeth are slightly grit as he responds. Uther uses his powers to throw a bench from the side of the room at Merlin. Merlin's eyes glow as he turns his head to look at the bench. It stops as though crashing against something and falls next to him. Merlin slowly turns his head back shaking lightly.  
  "You have magic..." Uther states in disbelief.   
  "I was born with it!" Merlin raises his voice slightly but not by too much.  
  "I made you Arthur's servant... You are a sorcerer." Uther's rage and disbelief are slowly growing.  
  "Even while you were king there was magic at the heart of Camelot." Merlin states steadily.  
  "I will not allow you and your kind to poison my kingdom." Uther starts to walk towards Merlin as his voice raises.  
  "You're wrong. You're wrong." Merlin states as Uther speaks and Uther stops. "About so much... Arthur is a better and more worthy king than you ever were." Uther pauses and then roars at Merlin in outrage as he's about to attack him. Merlin's eyes glow and he uses his magic to push Uther back sending the ghost flying through the double doors to the throne room as he continues to roar.  
  
  Merlin's eyes snap open and he jolts up into a sitting position in the bed. His mind is hazy and he looks around slowly as his eyes begin to focus. It's the middle of the night and all of the candles are out. Familiar shapes finally start to form just as a set of arms wrap around Merlin's bare shoulders and waist.  
  "What's wrong Merlin?" Arthur's rough and tired voice whispers into Merlin's ear causing the man to shiver.  
  "It's nothing... just a bad dream..." Merlin's hands shakily clutch Arthur's arms to him and the man hugs him tighter in response.  
  "You want to talk about it?"   
  "N-no, it was just a dream." Merlin lightly leans into Arthur's embrace and leans his head on the other's shoulder. "Sorry for waking you.  
  "It's fine, but are you alright?" Arthur lightly kisses Merlin's ear.  
  "Y-yeah, I'm fine." Merlin shivers from the kiss gaining a bit of a blush on his cheeks.  
  "You're shaking."  
  "It's a little chilly outside of the covers tonight."  
  "Then maybe I should warm you up." Arthur pulls Merlin back onto the bed so that he's pinned under Arthur.  
  "I'm starting to wonder if I can keep up with you pace or not." Merlin stares up at Arthur with a slight smirk and Arthur smirks back.  
  "I'm sure you'll manage somehow. You always do." Arthur kisses Merlin's neck causing shivers to go down the man's spine.  
  "If we go any further, I can assure you that I won't be able to walk a single step until noon or later tomorrow."  
  "Then I'll have you all the more to myself." Arthur kisses then lightly nibbles at Merlin's collarbone gaining a soft gasp from the man.  
  "B-but I-I have t-to prepare you for the b-banquet t-tomorrow a-and th-the g-guests." Merlin complains between soft gasps and shivers. Arthur groans and rolls onto his side so that he's laying next to Merlin.  
  "You really know how to kill a mood."  
  "W-well, it's true." Merlin rolls onto his side as well so that his nose touches Arthur's. "Though you should know that I wouldn't stop you if it were anything else but kingdom work."  
  "Kingdom work?" Arthur smirks and Merlin smiles back.  
  "Yes, I had to categorize the different things you do as king."  
  "So why couldn't it be kingly duties?"  
  "Because that would be everything that you do." Merlin pauses then smiles and kisses Arthur. "Well, not everything you do." Arthur chuckles and kisses Merlin back.  
  "Alright then, what are the different categories of my 'Kingly duty'?"  
  "Well, there's the hunting."  
  "Okay."  
  "And the tournaments."  
  "Alright."  
  "And then negotiations, paperwork, speeches to the people , and formal banquets fall under Kingdom work."  
  "What about battles?"  
  "That falls under negotiations."  
  "What kinds of negotiations involve beating each other to death?"  
  "Aggressive ones." both men burst out laughing and Arthur shakes his head softly.  
  "Where do you come up with all of this stuff?"  
  "My brain, I'm not surprised you don't know of it since a dollop-head like you rarely uses his." Merlin teases and Arthur raises a brow still smirking.  
  "Oh really now? Well if I'm a dollop-head what does that make you for loving me?"  
  "An idiot with bad tastes in men." Merlin shakes his head and tries to get his smile under control. Arthur starts tickling him as revenge and Merlin tries to roll away only to be pulled back over by his hips. After a few minutes of struggle both men settle down again now with Merlin's back resting against Arthur's chest. Both are breathing heavily from all of their laughter and tiredness begins to set in on Merlin's brain. Arthur hugs Merlin close to him and nuzzles his nose into the other man's hair.  
  "I do love you... you know that right?" Merlin hesitates a moment after hearing the words and nods.  
  "I know... and I love you too." Merlin's hand hold onto Arthur's as they both begin to drift off.  
  
  Bradley and Kilgharrah walk into guest room of Kilgharrah's house just as a few tears begin to leak out of Merlin's closed eyes.  
  "He hasn't woken up once since he collapsed on my doorstep..." Kilgharrah whispers and Bradley stares worriedly at the quietly crying Merlin.


	11. Who Are We

Bradley stares at Kilgarrah from across the small coffee table and the former dragon stares back calmly.  
 "What do I have to do?"  
  "You have to remember, but to do that, will mean battling your inner self and allowing magic into your body." Arthur glares at Kilgarrah who simply watches him.  
  "Is it the only way to wake Merlin up?" Kilgarrah nods and Arthur hesitates before resigning control back to Bradley. "I'll do it."  
  "Good, then close your eyes and picture Merlin as he was before. Not of this time, but back when Camelot was still in its youth and you were of royal birth." Bradley closes his eyes but only spurts of images containing bright sunshine and Merlin's smiling face splash through his mind.  
  "This is stupid." Bradley lashes out at his inability to focus.  
  "Do not give up so easily!" Kilgarrah gruffly shouts at him. "Does Merlin's being mean so little to you that you cannot even focus on his past self to bring his present back?"  
  "No! That's not what I meant! I... I..." Kilgarrah settles back in his seat.  
  "Think well on the one you knew." Arthur takes a breath and nods, closing his eyes one more time.

  
  Merlin, Arthur, Leon, Gwaine, Percival, Eylan and Lancelot stay around a fire, keeping vigilant of the outside darkness. Gwaine throws a singular piece of wood into the fire and everyone looks to him as he speaks. His voice carries well enough in abandoned ruins they rest in.  
  "The last one. Maybe we should draw lots, see who gets some more."  
  "I'll go." Arthur says decisively as he steps away from his position next to the fire.  
  "You'll need help." Lancelot states and stands while Merlin quickly does the same.  
  "I'll go with him," everyone pauses to look at him. They all stand at various degrees of ready to go instead as Arthur responds.  
  "You sure you're the right person?" Lancelot sheathes his sword as Merlin retorts.  
  "And since when have you known how to collect firewood?" the others laugh as he glances to them and Arthur smirks a little. Arthur shakes his head before leading the way off into the darkness.

  
  "Carefully now," Kilgarrah's voice injects itself into Arthur's subconscious. "Don't hurt yourself by trying to rush. Just take it slowly."

  
  Arthur stands holding the torch and watching Merlin's back as he's stooped over to grab the wood. The wind is howling eerily as they stand quietly. Suddenly, a ghost-like figure comes screaming directly at Merlin and Arthur jumps to his aid.  
  "Merlin! Look out!" They tumble down to a lower path and the creature disappears. "Let's go!" The two of them waste little to no time in getting up and moving into a corridor just to their left. They run down it and into a room of which they close the door heavily together.

  
  "Now, now. What did I just say a moment ago?"  
  "Just, shut up." Arthur retorts at Kilgarrah who huffs in conteptment.

  
  Arthur and Merlin are now sitting at the corner of a pillar with no way out behind them and no foreseeable exit to either sides either. Merlin is fixing a section of Arthur's armor that had come lose during the fall. Both are out of breath and looking past the corner at every chance as the creatures screams continue. Arthur shivers visibly and Merlin looks at him in concern.  
  "What?"  
  "It's cold," Arthur states.  
  "Right" Merlin nods.  
  "You're not feeling it?" Arthur asks indignantly.  
  "I.." Merlin trails off and shakes his head no.  
  "You know, Merlin, you're braver than we give you credit for," Arthur states as he positions himself to better look past the corner. Merlin pokes his head a bit further out and stares at him.  
  "Really? Was that a compliment?"  
  "Don't be stupid." Arthur moves back behind the corner and Merlin chuckles. The shrieking seems to be getting louder and closer. Making both men pear past the corner once more. Arthur's shivering seems to get worse and Merlin looks at him solemnly. The shrieking seems to fade again and Arthur speaks. "All the things I've faced, I've never worried about dying." he stares Merlin in the eye.   
  "I don't think you should now."  
  "Sometime, you puzzle me."  
  "You never fathomed me out?"  
  "No."  
  "I always thought that if things had been different, we'd have become good friends." both nod.  
  "Yeah."  
  "That's if you hadn't been such an arrogant, pompous dollop-head." Arthur chuckles as he shivers. and Merlin looks upwards, shaking his head. Arthur does the same before they look at each other again. "We will defeat the Dorocha. We will, Arthur. Together." Arthur nods but can't seem to keep eye contact for long.  
  "Well, I appreciate that." he hesitates before saying more. "You know, you're a brave man, Merlin... Between battles." They both chuckle.   
  "You don't know how many times I've saved your life." Merlin says with a smile.   
  "If I ever become king, I'm going to have you made court jester." they laugh some more before the screams become loud once more. Both men look past the corner. Arthur's breathing is much heavier now as he stutters to speak. "They say the darkest hour is just before the dawn."  
  "It's pretty dark right now."  
  "It can't be long then." the screeching penetrates the door as the creature seeps quickly through it. Arthur raises to charge it only for Merlin to pull him by the shoulder back down and charge instead.  
  "Merlin! No!" Arthur shouts out as the mist like creature throws itself through Merlin's body. The creature levitates Merlin through the air and past Arthur, making him slam hard into the back wall just as the door bursts open. Lancelot comes through first with his torch and dissipates the creature as Arthur tries to stand. Lancelot then hands the torch off to Percival before addressing Arthur.  
  "What happened?" Arthur doesn't respond as he rushes to the back of the room where Merlin lays with his face towards the wall. Lancelot quickly follows. When they pick up Merlin's head his face is covered in ice and his eyes are still open.

  
  
 "...Merlin..." Arthur is gritting his teeth as his nails bite into Kilgarrah's coach.


	12. Why Him

  The day is clear but the sun has yet to rise above the trees behind them. In Merlin's arms, he holds a beautiful, young druid girl. Her hair is wet and black while her eyes remain closed. A gorgeous purple dress drapes itself about her form. Merlin finally comes in front of a large lake lying just bellow a set of mountains and surrounded by trees. Rain patters on the surface as Merlin kneels down near to it and lays her out to see the sight. His breath is short as he looks to the water trying to find words. Soundlessly, the girl opens her dazzling blue eyes and turns her head to look.  
  "You remembered." she smiles as she closes her eyes again and turns her head back to him.  
  "Of course," he says breathlessly before trying to find more words and licking his lips. "I am so sorry for what that sorcerer did to you." tears well in her eyes.  
  "Merlin, you have nothing to be sorry for." she stares up into his eyes.  
  "There must be something I can do, some way to save you." he denies.   
  "You've already saved me," she responds with a smile. "You made me feel loved." It's so hard to keep the tears from falling but he refuses to let them and she breathes out and tilts her head back.  
  "I don't want you to go." she opens her eyes and looks at him again.  
  "One day, Merlin, I will repay you. I promise." Merlin grits his teeth in pain as he listens then opens his mouth for words he can not find. The woman leans her head back as her eyes begin to close of their own accord.  
  "Freya," he calls out her name softly and brings his hand to the side of her face, shaking it lightly. His heart aches ash he hugs her body to his and rocks them back and forth. No words can speak to how he feels.

  
  "Why?" Merlin sits in a tree of a forest he can never forget. "Why wasn't she good enough? Why couldn't I save her when I did he so many times? Why couldn't I just love her for the rest of me days? I know how to speak to her and I know where she lays but still I cannot love her as I love him! Why?!"  
  "Because he knew when you were in pain." Gaius's elderly voice speaks from his side. "Do you not remember after you lost Freya? It was Arthur who cheered you up..."

  
  Merlin sits on a step in a room with a line of boots, that need polishing, to his right. The sound of a door clicking echoes around the room and Merlin looks up to see Arthur entering the room. Arthur throws a cup to the side and closes the door before he starts taking off his gloves.  
  "Ah, Merlin. I've been looking for you."   
  "Yeah, right. You're going to ask me to polish your armor and to wash your clothes, and clean your room." his tone is sad and you can hear that he's been crying as he continues to polish the boot he's on. Merlin swallows back all of the pain he's trying not to show as Arthur's mood becomes a little more serious. He walks up slowly and sits down next to him. Arthur licks his lips and he places his wrists on his knees and figures out what he can say.   
  "Something's been upsetting you, hasn't it?" Arthur looks directly at Merlin as the other averts his eyes to the blunt words.  
  "Maybe," Merlin responds shortly. Arthur hesitates and contemplates for a moment before going with his best idea.  
  "Was it when I threw water over you?" Merlin sits up a bit and looks at him with a smile before looking away. A few chuckles manage to peel past his lips.   
  "That wasn't very nice." he finally decides to say.  
  "I was a bit unfair," Arthur admits and Merlin looks at him with a smile. As soon as Merlin leans back down to continue polishing Arthur adds to his statement. "Like when you called me fat." Merlin looks up for a moment before looking at him blankly.  
  "Why was that unfair?"   
  "Because I am not f..." Arthur trails off when he looks into Merlin's eyes then looks away. As soon as Merlin looks away Arthur grabs his head and holds it in a lock as he muddles Merlin's hair ruffly with his knuckles.  
  "Ow!" Merlin struggles and closes his eyes tightly as his hand shoots up to try and stop Arthur.   
  "Still think I need to get in shape?"  
  "No! No! No! No! No!" Arthur finally releases Merlin's head. Merlin rubs his head tenderly and tries to find words as a smile plays on his lips. Arthur smiles as well.  
  "That's better."  
  "Thanks," Merlin says slightly confusedly.  
  "You are right, though." Merlin looks at Arthur as if to say 'about what?' "You need to polish my armor, wash my clothes, and clean my room." Arthur pats his back as he stands up and Merlin watches him, trying to hold back a smile.

  
  
  "I wouldn't call that cheering me up, it was more like his straightforward way of getting me to do a good job for him." Merlin tries to deny and Gaius raises a brow.  
  "Do not lie to me young man. If that was not him cheering you up then I don't know what was!"

* * *

_I'm breaking this chapter in half so that Arthur can have his half :)_


	13. Come Back With Me

  Arthur's blue eyes open finally and he stares at Kilgarrah with a solemn face.  
  "I know how to fix him." is the only thing he says before standing and walking to the room that Merlin lays in.

  
  "I wouldn't call that cheering me up, it was more like his straightforward way of getting me to do a good job for him." Merlin tries to deny and Gaius raises a brow.  
  "Do not lie to me young man. If that was not him cheering you up then I don't know what was!"  
  "It was just dumb luck that I even figured out that you were upset, though." Arthur appears at the opposite side of Merlin from Gaius.  
  "Arthur?" Merlin jumps at his sudden appearance then relaxes. "No... you can't be."  
  "Can't I?"  
  "The only way for you to really be here would be magic..." Merlin trails off and looks away.  
  "This magic, would it be able to show you why you love me? From our memories, I mean."  
  "It's possible, I suppose," Merlin shrugs softly and Arthur smiles.  
  "Then let me show you how real I am," he eyes flash the pure golden color of magic.

  
  The room is lit by a single light that stands on a table between the two's beds. Arthur removes his shirt revealing the bandages crossing his chest  and looping over his shoulder. Merlin stares at the blood stains in the fabric from his place in the other bed. Arthur can feel the burn of Merlin's stare and turns his head to look. Merlin tries to avert his eyes elsewhere but they return to their earlier staring and Arthur turns back.  
 "What is wrong with you today?"  
  "What?" Merlin asks confusedly.   
 "It pains me to admit it but I do enjoy your surly retorts. In fact, it's probably your only redeemable feature." Merlin narrows his eyes at the comment.  
  "Thanks," he says shortly and turns his head to stare at the ceiling.   
  "Plenty of servants who can serve, but so few of them are capable of making a complete prat out of themselves," Arthur says as he lays down in his bed. After he gets mostly settled he looks over towards Merlin with a smile playing at his lips. "What is it?" he asks as he looks away again.  
  "Nothing."  
  "It's something. Tell me." he looks at Merlin once more but gets no response. "Alright, I know I'm a prince so we can't be friends," Merlin rolls on his side to face away from Arthur. "But if I wasn't a prince?"  
  "What?" Merlin asks shortly.  
  "Well then... I think we'd probably get on."  
  "So?" Merlin shrugs as he listens.  
  "So that means you can tell me." Arthur waves his hand at Merlin.  
  "That's true, but if you weren't a prince, I'd tell you to mind your own damn business."  
  "Merlin," a smile plays at Arthur's lips as he looks towards him. "Are you missing Guias?" Arthur asks after a pause.  
  "Something like that," Merlin responds shortly.  
  "Well, what is it?" Arthur asks as he reaches behind himself and throws his pillow at Merlin.  
  "I'll tell you," Merlin sighs and tries to find words. "I'm worried about everyone back in Camelot. I hope they're all alright."  
  "So do I."

  
  "Now what was that supposed to prove?" Guias exclaims as Merlin hops out of his tree. " There was no real talking in there at all! The only think you proved is how much of a prat you are!"  
  "Exactly," Arthur states as Guias evaporates and Merlin wraps his arms around Arthur's shoulders. Arthur instantly wraps his own around Merlin's waist and kisses him. "You love me for the prat that I am," Arthur states once the kiss ends and Merlin smiles goofily.  
 "How could I wish for you any other way?" Arthur chuckles and Merlin tries to find more words. "You have magic." he finally gets out and Arthur nods solemnly. "H-how? Why?" Merlin's thoughts are muddled and Arthur interrupts him.  
  "The only way to get you back was for me to remember everything. No one can remember everything of their past lives alone so I had to get the help of magic."  
  "How?"   
  "Kilgarrah helped me by using a bit of his own to awaken mine."  
  "But I... I thought you hated magic." Merlin's eyes are filling with tears and his voice cracks.  
  "I love you Merlin, and that's all that matters to me right now."  
  "W-why? I couldn't save you before, a-and I won't be able to now."  
  "Then let me save you this time."  
  "No! No... I-I can't watch you die again and especially not for me." Merlin tries to push away from Arthur who holds him tight.  
  "It's okay... I'm not going to die this time."  
  "Yes, you are unless I sacrifice myself for you!"  
 "And then what? live out the rest of my life, that I already owe to you a hundred times over, with a woman I can never fully love?" Arthur shouts out angrily and holds Merlin closer. "I can't live like that Merlin... I can't lie and say that I'll be fine if you are gone.... You've already seen how much I need you..." tears are dripping down Merlin's cheeks as his hands cling to the material of Arthur's shirt. "Please... Come back with me..."


	14. Past To Future

  Merlin's screaming in the ancient tongue take hold of Kilgarrah's soul and makes his wings move on their own so that he may fly to wherever the young warlock is. The first thing he sees is Merlin's back hunched over the splayed body of the once and future king.   
  "Kilgarrah!" Merlin looks up at the dragon with hope reforming in his eyes. "I would not have summoned you if there was any other choice." he says as he stands. "I have one last favor to ask." he walks closer to Kilgarrah.  
  Words are not needed as the dragon lowers himself to the level that Merlin needs to more easily drag himself and Arthur onto his back. Once the two are settled Kilgarrah takes flights sensing Merlin's clinging hopes. They land just as the first rays of the sun begin to wash over them and Merlin quickly begins to drag Arthur towards the boat that awaits.  
  "Merlin..."Kilgarrah speaks up but pauses. Merlin stops and looks up at him so he continues. "There is nothing you can do."  
  "I failed?" Merlin asks as his hopes begin to slip from his grasp.  
  "No, young warlock, for all that you have dreamt of building has come to pass." his words are meant to be reassuring but have none such luck in Merlin's ears. Merlin shakes his head and heaves Arthur up with a cry, tears forming in his eyes.  
  "I can't lose him!" Merlin shouts. "He's my friend!" Merlin is almost hesitant with the words he uses.  
  "Though no man, no matter how great, can know his destiny, some lives have been foretold, Merlin." though they are great and wise words they do little help in healing the break that is forming in Merlin's heart. "Arthur is not just a king. " he continues. "He is the once and future king. Take heart, for when Albion's need is greatest... Arthur will rise again....  
  "It has been a privilege to have known you, young warlock. The story we have been a part of will live long in the lives of men." with that Kilgarrah  turned and began to fly away unwilling to watch Merlin say his good byes to Arthur or to listen to any more pleading that Merlin may come up with.

 

  "Kilgarrah..." Merlin's voice rouses the elderly man from his doze in his chair. Arthur stands with his hand around Merlin's waist smiling cockily at him.  
  "I see you managed to bring the young warlock back to us then." he says as he stretches out the crick in his neck.  
  "I wanted to thank you for all of the care you have taken in dealing with the two of us and for all of your help in this life and our last." Arthur nods his head solemnly at the once great dragon who chuckles and shakes his head.   
  "It has been my pleasure to help my old friend and to see the rebirth of the once and future king." Merlin smiles widely at Kilgarrah who chuckles and shoos them off. "Now go on the both of you so that this old man may get some proper rest." they nod and leave straight for their apartment. 

 

  Gwen stands in front of the door her face bursting into a smile with tears the second she sees Merlin. Her hug threatens to take them both tumbling down the stairs but Arthur catches them.   
  "Easy now, he basically just woke up." she looks at them quizzically and the shrug lightly. "I'll explain it later, but first lets go inside."

 

  "You have magic now?!" Gwen all but screams and Arthur covers his ears defensively.  
  "Can you say it any louder?" Gwen blushes and Merlin chuckles as he sits next to Arthur on the couch.  
  "In her defense I was just as shocked."  
  "Glad to see how much confidence the lot of you have in my ability to grow." they both look sheepishly at him before but they continue to grin slightly.  
  "So what happens now?" Gwen asks. Merlin squirms uncomfortably and Arthur puts an arm over his shoulders.  
  "Now, we prepare for whatever is to come. If we stay prepared it can't hit us nearly as hard."  
  "But how do we prepare for something we don't even know anything about?"  
  "We cover all of our bases."  
  "This isn't baseball, Arthur, it's life or death." Merlin retorts and Arthur rolls his eyes.  
  "I mean we check everything that we know now."  
  "Like?" Gwen pipes up.  
  "People we know from now and before, places that are the same or have similar names, and managing our contact ability. If one of us gets hit before we're ready or when no one else  is there we have to find a way to signal the others."  
  "With cellphones all of them are much easier to do then they were before." Gwen smiles and Arthur nods.  
  "Exactly, so what do we have?"  
  "Morgana is your step-sister going by the name Katie McGrath, and Uther is your boss at the Camelot cafe but his name is now Anthony Head." Merlin interjects and Arthur nods.  
  "Good, now what else?" Gwen perks up.  
  "I work with Sir Leon but his new name is Rupert Young." Arthur sits up more.  
  "That means that at least one of the knights has been found." Gwen nods but her shoulders sink.  
  "However, he doesn't seem to have any recollection of his past self." Arthur sighs deeply.  
  "I suppose it is more difficult for others to remember then it is for you two..." Merlin flinches at the statement and squirms uncomfortably like he's hiding something.  
  "Merlin? What is it?"  
  "I..." Merlin hesitates before taking a breath. "I never died..."


	15. Dollopheads

  "I..." Merlin hesitates before taking a breath. "I never died..." the two stare at him in utter surprise.  
  "First off," Gwen is the first to speak up, "How is that even possible? Camelot was more than a thousand years ago! How is it that you look exactly like... you did before..." a thought flits through her mind causing her to almost not finish her sentence.  
  "You of all people should remember very well Gwen..." Merlin whispers and Arthur looks between them confusedly.  
  "Will someone care enough to fill me in?" Arthur barks irritably and Gwen hesitates before answering.  
  "After your final battle, Gaius returned holding your seal but not you. Sometime later but before you were declared dead he and I spoke in the thrown room. He didn't say it directly but I knew what he meant when he said that I did know the sorcerer who helped us in the battle..."  
  "What?" Arthur is still so badly lost.  
  "Several times, during your time in Camelot, I used a specific type of magic to age myself so that no one would recognize me as Emrys or your servant." Merlin answers  
  "Emrys?" Both ask in confusion.  
  "It is the name they called me." Merlin shrugs.  
  "They? They who?" Arthur questions.  
  "The Druids. It's actually because they refused to call me by my actual name that I escaped Morgana's sight for so long."  
  "The Druids have their own name for you?" Arthur asks astoundedly.  
  "Had..." Merlin corrects and Gwen tilts her head quizzically so he continues. "They are all but extinct and have long since begun to speculate about my very existence..."  
  "Oh, Merlin..." She gasps and puts a hand over her mouth. "That must be terrible!" Merlin shrugs and gives his typical goofy smile.  
  "I've lived through worse, so it's fine." Gwen pouts.  
  "I see nothing fine about that." Merlin twitches and tries to change the subject.  
  "Can't we just go back to talking about our bases?"  
  "Not yet," Arthur interjects suddenly. "Merlin, were you the old man that was acted like a total arse to me whenever I met you?" Merlin freezes up and tries to look away innocently.  
  "Ha-haven't the foggiest what you're on about." he stutters and Arthur narrows his eyes.  
  "You made me carry you on my back through the castle and treated me like a horse."  
  "Anybody else hungry? I'm starved! I'll make something up for everyone!" Merlin gets up quickly to run for the kitchen.  
  "Merlin!" Arthur calls after him but huffs and sits back on the couch when he gets no response. Gwen laughs happily as she watches the two of them.  
  "I've missed this."  
  "Missed what?" Arthur gripes lightly and she chuckles.  
  "The two of you being the way you used to be..." she suddenly frowns.   
  "Now what's the matter? You were smiling not even two minutes ago." Arthur huffs and Gwen pouts at him.  
  "I just realized how long it was been for Merlin."  
 "What do you mean?" he tilts his head quizzically and Gwen lowers her voice to be courteous towards Merlin who is just over in the kitchen area.  
  "To us, it only feels like a little while or even a lifetime at most but Merlin never died..."  
  "So?" Gwen growls irritably.  
  "So, he remembers every year we were gone and worse, he was there for both of our deaths." the full bulk of what Gwen is talking about finally dawns on Arthur who swallows thickly.  
  "Th-they say that time heals all wounds..." he makes a mild attempt to lessen the weight of it all but Gwen crossed her arms and sits back disbelievingly.  
  "Do you even know how broken he was when he returned after your death?" Arthur hesitates before shaking his head 'no'.  
  "Even with all of us who remained that knew both of you, no one could make him smile even the slightest bit for over two years." Arthur swallows and averts his eyes guiltily. "Even after he began to become more himself again he continued to make yearly trips to the lake that he sent you off on."  
  "I'm sure he must have eventually found another to make him happy again..." a large lump is forming in Arthur's throat from listening to it all. Gwen shakes her head sadly and uncrosses her hands.  
  "Not during my time... I saw many follow after him in longing but none could stir his heart..." the weight is getting too much to bare so he stands abruptly.  
  "I-I'm going to go help Merlin with the food..." he mutters and walks away from the now worried Gwen.  
  
  Merlin's back... so thin and fragile, in Arthur's eyes, that he hesitates to even touch it. Taking a breath he takes the final step forward and wraps his arms around Merlin's waist. His head rests heavily on Merlin's shoulder making Merlin tense up and then relax.  
 "If you're tired you should go lay down until dinner is ready." Arthur shakes his head 'no'. "Don't be stubborn you dollophead. Just get some rest. Using magic takes a lot of energy for someone who isn't used to wielding it."  
  "It's not that." Arthur mumbles and Merlin pauses in his cutting of the vegetables.  
  "Arthur, what's wrong?" Merlin turns in Arthur's arms so that he's facing him. Arthur rests his forehead against Merlin's and sighs.  
  "Have you really been waiting all this time for me?" Merlin hesitates and fiddles with the fabric of Arthur's shirt.  
  "I... I couldn't help it..." he blushes lightly as he speaks and Arthur chuckles.  
  "I really am a dollophead." Merlin looks up at Arthur's softly smiling face and blushes more.  
 "Th-there was never any question a-about that." he mumbles and Arthur chuckles again.   
  "Then what does that make you for loving this dollophead?" Merlin hesitates before answering with a small smile.  
 "An even worse dollophead." Merlin leans forward and kisses Arthur who takes no time at all to kiss him back.


	16. Fear Of The Forgotten

  Someone starts knocking on the door and Gwen stands to get it as Merlin and Arthur end their kiss. The kettle starts to scream just as Gwen opens the door and gasps.  
  "Katie..." she whispers as Merlin take the kettle off the heat. "What happened?" Katie steps in, her clothes still dripping from the rain outside and her wavy dark brown locks hang in wet clumps.  
  "I... I'm sorry for intruding, a-at this hour. I... I just didn't know where else to go." Her grey-blue eyes are filled with tears and the skin around them show that this isn't the first bout of them.  
  "I'll get you a towel." Arthur states as soon as he sees her before darting off.  
  "This way, let's sit you down for now, okay?" Arthur comes back in and wraps Katie up in the towel he brought.  
  "God, you're paler than a ghost right now." he exclaims and Merlin comes over with a cup of tea.  
  "Here, drink this." Katie nods and carefully takes a sip. Arthur sits on the coffee table in front of her as Merlin sits next to her on the couch and Gwen sits of the armrest rubbing Katie's back. After a few minutes have passed and she seems to have relaxed some, Gwen asks her again.  
  "What happened?"  
  "Y-you'll probably just think I'm crazy, like dad does..."  
  "Forget whatever dad said, he's insane most of the time anyway." Arthur pipes up and Merlin snickers a little with Katie.  
  "Alright... For about two weeks now I've been having these vivid dreams."  
  "What kind of dreams?" Gwen asks gently and Katie tears up.  
  "Dreams of terrible things. Most of them have all of us in them and then some of them have people I've never seen before in my life." Merlin exchanges glances with everyone else before Katie continues. Earlier today I was out for my morning jog and I saw one of them."  
  "Them who?" Arthur prompts.  
  "One of the men from my dreams. Aithusa wouldn't stop growling and barking at him so he looked over at us... And when he did..." Katie looks like she's on the verge of a mental breakdown so Gwen hushes her gently.  
  "It's okay. You're with friends now." Katie shakes her head vigorously.  
  "I-it's not okay. When he saw me, he said the same thing as in my dreams!"  
  "What did he say to you?" Arthur asks worriedly and Katie starts to cry.  
  "Morgana..." she collapses into hysteric sobs. "Why did he say that? Who are they? What does it even mean?" Gwen hugs Katie tightly as she rubs her back.  
  "Shhh, it's all going to be okay. We'll figure this out." Gwen looks over Katie's head and to Merlin who stares back worriedly.

 

  After quite some time Katie managed to calm down and then fall asleep. Arthur carried her back and put her in his bed so that she would rest a little better without being disturbed by their talking.  
  "What do you think Merlin?" Gwen asks as soon as Arthur returns to the living room. Merlin sighs and crosses his arms as he leans back to think.  
  "The past has shown me all to well, that if we keep secrets they will have the opposite effect than that of which we are aiming for..."  
  "But, how would we even begin to explain everything to her. If our own crash courses were anything to go by, it will be painful and difficult for her to remember everything." Arthur chips in and Merlin nods in solemn agreement.  
  "She's scared as it is, telling her who her past life was... seems almost cruel." Gwen murmurs softly.  
  "We should probably break it to her as gently as we can by first asking her what she remembers." Merlin states as he uncrosses his arms and sits up.  
  "Hopefully after some sleep, she'll be a lot calmer about the entire thing." Arthur looks back down the hall towards his room.  
  "My prayer is that we are doing the right thing..." Merlin says softly.

 

  Morning light streams through Bradley's window and into Katie's face. She blinks drowsily and moves her hand to intercept the path of the thin beam. After stretching as thoroughly as she can in the bed, she begins to get up. The smells of coffee and sausages float through the air and remind her of the empty rumbling that is her stomach. Slowly Katie gets out of the bed and straightens the T-shirt Bradley had given her to wear while her clothes were in the wash. Colin had also given her his largest pair of sweat pants so that she would be more comfortable but sleeping in them had proven to be annoying, so she had to search for the discarded article of clothing.

  Colin is the one cooking in the kitchen as he staves off Bradley's attacks towards stealing food. The two seem so much closer than they had been the last time she'd seen them but the development is not unwanted as no one could ignore how Colin's glaze had always followed Bradley. Angle is in the egg chair dozing off with the TV on the weather. Apparently there was a bad storm moving along the coast and some of it had moved inland with the wind. Katie had seen this kind of scene several times as they had all basically grown up together, but for the first time ever... It felt foreign and strange. Almost as though there were a part of herself that hated the thought of them all being happy together... Colin looks past Bradley to see her but hesitates before speaking.  
  "After everyone gets through breakfast, there is something we need to talk about and some things that we need to explain." his voice is steady but his eyes show doubt and worry for what is to come.


End file.
